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Client stories

There is nothing more compelling than a real story and volunteers often find that one of the best ways of understanding what the Refuge does and why it is needed is by hearing about an individual client. The following two stories have therefore been randomly selected from the many women CTWR has supported recently to illustrate the range of problems Refuge staff offer help for.

Some of the problems women and children living with domestic violence experience are easier to deal with than others. It can be difficult for them to regain their physical health, find new housing and arrange to receive benefits so that they can feed and clothe themselves. Yet these problems can pale beside the difficulties they face in trying to recover from the psychological damage they have sustained.

Bindi's Story

Bindi was referred to the refuge's Outreach Service by the Hate and Crime Unit at Clacton police due to a physical assault by her husband witnessed by their only child. (No charges were brought.) Physical abuse had been part of Bindi's life for five years. She suffered from post-natal depression.

In addition, Bindi discovered that her husband had been spending well beyond their means: £75,000 a year for the past three years. He was involved with other women and drug-taking, even though he held a public professional position in the community. There was an indication by the child of possible sexual abuse.

THE OUTREACH WORKER CONSULTED THE FOLLOWING AGENCIES:

Social Services:

The suspected child abuse investigation was traumatic for Bindi and our Outreach Worker accompanied her to social services meetings. Even though it was deemed that the child was too young to be a credible witness, the Outreach Worker was there to 'pick up the pieces.'

Welfare Rights:

The Outreach Worker assisted Bindi by gaining information and documentation about council tax, income support and housing benefit and helped her to complete and present the claims.

Housing:

Bindi's husband wanted the family home to be sold. However, as a result of mortgage arrears the property was repossessed, rendering Bindi and her child homeless. The Outreach Worker set up a homelessness appointment with the local council for Bindi and advised her on her options. Bindi decided to opt for the quicker route of renting privately with housing benefit assistance. Outreach helped her complete a community care grant application to obtain basic furnishings and assist with moving costs.

Citizen's Advice Bureau:

The Outreach Worker visited the local CAB with Bindi to discuss the accumulated debts and the best way to deal with them. Bindi was only responsible for a small portion of the debt.

GP:

Bindi was advised to visit her GP as she could not eat or sleep. The GP adjusted her medication to help her feel better.

Health Visitor:

Bindi asked the Outreach Worker to meet the health visitor to help the family through this difficult time.

Solicitors:

Bindi was accompanied by our Outreach Caseworker to a solicitor to seek a residency order (where and who the child should live with) as she was worried her husband would snatch the child and flee the country. She also filed for divorce.

Counselling:

Arrangements were made by our Outreach Caseworker for Bindi to undertake a 15-week educational programme, WISP (Women's Intervention Support Programme) which is run by a founder member of CTWR.

OUTCOME:

Bindi's case file is now closed. She was supported by refuge services for 18 months. She has moved to a new property in a different area, obtained a residency order and a divorce. She has completed her WISP programme and continues to deal with her financial situation as advised. Her child still has nightmares and wets the bed, but this is happening less frequently. Bindi's medication has been reduced.

Kay's Story

Kay, 26, was admitted into the refuge after being referred by social services, who had known her for a number of years due to her erratic lifestyle. She was living with her abusive partner, the father to one of her three children, who was a known heroin addict and had been convicted of various offences over the years including actual bodily harm and theft. There were an unspecified number of lodgers in the house.

As well as suffering domestic violence from her partner, Kay had had an abusive childhood and was still being controlled by her father. She had bad back pain for which she took prescriptive medication and also took heroin and cannabis on occasions.

The children had been on and off the Child Protection Register due to the abuse they had witnessed and the neglect they had suffered during the periods when Kay was unable to care for them. She and her partner had also run up debts and were being threatened with eviction.

REFUGE WORKERS LIAISED WITH A NUMBER OF AGENCIES:

Housing Department:

Kay and her partner had a joint tenancy, so she could not give it up without his consent. He was not paying any rent or utility bills, but was still living in the property with two illegal lodgers and refused to leave. He had also claimed housing benefit on two properties for which Kay was being held jointly responsible. Refuge staff explained the situation to the housing officer, who said that Kay would have to pay a large amount of the arrears of rent. In addition, her partner had continued to deal in drugs from the house and Kay's father had been in and trashed the house to express his displeasure at her leaving. The housing officer thought the bill for repairs could reach £2000. We sought legal advice, and eventually Kay made only a minimum contribution. Kay applied to, and was accepted by CBC and received new accommodation in the Colchester area.

Social Services:

Social services supported Kay's move to the refuge and arranged contact for the children. A Family Support Worker provided transport and childcare and also took the children on trips. A Core Group was established to identify the areas of her life Kay needed to work on and support her in making changes.

Welfare Rights:

The refuge supported Kay in claiming benefits in her own right.

Child and Family Consultation Service:

Kay was experiencing difficulties parenting her eldest son and the whole family had trouble adjusting to their new life. She asked for help and the refuge referred her to this service for some family group work.

Counselling:

Kay had a number of issues in her life she needed to deal with due to her upbringing and spasmodic drug use. The refuge referred her to the in-house Refuge Counsellor.

POST REFUGE:

After leaving the refuge the family went from crisis to crisis and Kay became involved in another abusive relationship. Her new partner was a heroin addict and alcoholic. He took control of Kay's money which meant her bills went unpaid. The home was dirty and untidy and Kay spent most of the time in bed. The children had no routine and did not attend school regularly. When visited, Kay was always willing to work alongside staff. If something that needed to be done she would do it, as long as she had constant reminders.

Kay moved to three lots of temporary accommodation before getting her permanent home. The eldest child stopped attending school as he wanted to stay at home and look after his mother. The middle child went to four primary schools in Colchester in eighteen months which had a bad affect on his schooling. The youngest child attended two nurseries.

Kay found it difficult to manage her finances and often had no money for the children's birthday presents. She depended on other agencies to assist with presents and clothes for them.

Social Services continued their involvement. Refuge staff could not envisage a time when this family would be able to manage without the support of various agencies. After an unwanted pregnancy which ended in a termination, Kay decided to turn her life around and make things better for herself and the children. She went from strength to strength: she got them into good routines at home and they all attended school. The home went from being messy to being clean and homely. She saved up for new furniture and carpets and managed to save money every week from her benefits for Christmas and birthday presents.

Other issues to be addressed included the involvement of the Education Officer to improve the children's school attendance and get the middle son into local schools. There had been constant housing issues, because of the temporary homes and complaints from neighbours. Solicitors and the courts were involved in the divorce, injunctions and to deal with debts from the original property.

Overall, Kay was supported by refuge services for two years.

The cases cited here provide evidence of the value of agencies pulling together to help abused women and show how other agencies can help refuges as well as refuges offering services to them.